it's just one of those days...

when you couldn't possibly feel any more alone.

when it seems your only friends consist of
a set of earphones and a computer screen.

when even lifting your head or moving your fingers
seems to take more effort than normal.

i wish you could make it all go away
but it's not your cross to bare.
it's not your responsibility.
but please don't leave me.
i need you right now.
more than you can imagine.
don't turn your back on me, please.

"was it too much aggrevation?... i'm always getting over you..."

tender fingers and chapped lips
both results of a late night fight:
my head against my heart.
my heart reigning supreme as always.
my head bows in defeat,
for it knows the pain my heart will soon face.
my heart is blinded to the realities of the world
it is ignorant and learns nothing from the past
"i need you"s coming from bodies real substance.
there have been no worthy adversaries-
considering the wounds that my heart has self healed from.
there are scars from each battle that burn bright,
that don't fade away. they make their presence known.
all of this head and heart business combined
can form an unpredictable whirlwind of emotions.
can you forge through the storm?
can you make it through to the end?
i hate being wrong, as do most.
but in this case, i would love it.




i dare you.

"all the pain we've endured until now, all the hope i had lost, you have found..."

surrender yourself to me.

the showdown.
empty words and the friction of bare skin
old scars vs. new loves
my black heart to match your black lungs.
the refuge in a hollow kiss
and the dirt that covers my skin
from the ink painted across your back
to the claw marks down your arms.
you drown the pain.
you suffocate the screams
with your mouth still full of liquor that your
liver cannot quite process.
show me the sin of the flesh.
and the beauty in captivity.
hold me hostage.
when it's all said and done.

i'm going to fucking eat you alive.

"she better hold him tight, give him all her love..."

the fall.
the crush.
the break.
the buildup.
the letdown.

you wear me down like a rock over time.
i'm tired of the moodswings.
i'm tired of your unpredictable patterns.
i'm always going to be a part of you.
i get lost in the chaos of the rest of your worlds.
but when everything is calm, i'm still there.
hiding. waiting. and watching.
you won't find me anymore.
i'll be in the shadows, right where i'm supposed to be.

i'm slowly coming back to the surface.
i'm seeing the light that you've always clouded.
the song is escaping my lungs.
the shell i've formed is breaking on its own.
try as i might, i can't fight the change.

here's to teenage romance.