it's absolutely amazing to me how i stay up until six in the morning.
i'm so tired, yet i don't sleep. i can't. this time i don't have an answer
as to why i'm not sleeping. usually i have a lot on my mind. stress.
but not this time. there's really nothing there. just recaps of mindless
youtube videos. reruns of made. and the same old songs that have
gotten me through so much.
i'm alone. in every sense right now. most of the people in my little world
are currently residents of the land of sleep.
i, on the other hand, am currently the living dead.
there is an odd peace to staying up so long.
i get to watch a new day start. a day that has so much potential for so many.
babies will be born. loved ones will pass. hearts will be crushed. love will be found.
this day, like EVERYDAY, is already filled with adventure. with a new story.
it's all in what you choose for it to be.
that's an obvious statement that so many have put within their blogs/journals
to sound deep and insightful. i'm fairly sure that i have wrote about that very
concept. regardless of how many times it's been said. and no matter which
variation you have read in it, it holds true.
make the best of what you have while you have it.
go out. be crazy. embarass yourself. laugh with everything you have in you.
with your head back. tears filling your eyes. to the point where you cannot breathe.
run around. be stupid. speak your mind. say what you feel. confront your fears. speak
your peace. let go of the past. move forward ot the future. love with every cell in you.
let go of that hate and resentment that eats away at you like a vicious cancer.
be the bigger person. accept an apology. give an apology. move on with your life.
sing until all the air has left your lungs. dance like an idiot despite your lack of rhythm.
and most importantly, let people know how much you love them. tell them they're needed.
let them know. it doesn't matter if you have to slap them across the face and yell at them.
just let them know. verbally, nonverbally. it doesn't matter. doing something for somebody
else is one of the most rewarding feelings you can ever experience.
there is so much i would like to do with my life.
i want to travel. i hope to one day be able to say i've been to italy, germany, england, japan, and canada.
i want to be a loving, devoted wife.
i want kids... i want the american dream. i want suburban life. i want the white picket fence with a puppy running around in the yard.
i want to motivate people i want to impact their lives for the better.
i want to try things i'm scared of. i want to write. i want to get into photography.
i want to live in california.
i want
i want
i want
i want
i could go on all day about the things i want. in order of importance. in order by 'size'.
it doesn't matter. that's all wishful thinking in written form.
none of it matters. they're merely dreams.
i don't want just dreams. i want reality. and i firmly believe if i push myself, i can obtain each thing i want.
