i think in fragments and jumbled words.
i stare into space trying to think of perfect combinations
like pieces of a puzzle.
sometimes they fit
but more than often they don't.
my mood changes by the hour...
i can be the magic in the wind that circles around you ... giving you an instant glimpse into eternal youth and beauty.
and i can just as quickly shapeshift into the cold shot of shame that dances down your spine and the flesh that crawls at the touch of a past lover.
i will never know who i really am.
and to be honest, i don't want to
because i fear that what i'll find... won't be something i'll like.
i'm not ready to meet my demons. i'm not ready to be placed inside the lions den without any form of defense.
i feel pity for those helpless bystanders and players that deal with my everchanging personalities on a daily basis.
i truly apologize to those who you who deal with my devastating aftermath.
i love you more than any words i can form in my mind. i could wear my fingers to the bones trying to thank you for lending a kind ear when my words so desperately needed a home to rest awhile in...
you are the stars that guide me each night.
the notes and melodies that steer me into dreams.
you are what keeps my heart beating everyday.
and you are composed of the words that my mind will never be brilliant enough to comprehend.
